Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark

A version of this review appeared in The Age, November 3, 2011.

As a writer and producer, Guillermo Del Toro hits rock bottom with his latest supernatural horror movie, freely adapted from a 1973 telemovie which apparently scared him witless when he was a kid. Directed by comic-book artist Troy Nixey, Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark introduces us to Alex (Guy Pearce), a professional renovator who moves into a creepy old mansion with his daughter Sally (Bailee Madison) and new wife Kim (Katie Holmes). Soon Sally comes to realise the house is infested by strange critters, but the adults are more interested in getting onto the cover of Architectural Digest than paying attention to her fears.

For most audiences, the film is clearly a non-starter – too slow and gloomy for kids, not intense enough for gorehounds, and devoid of any subtext that might endear it to the arthouse crowd. In fact, the only people likely to have a good time are those keeping a lookout for signs that it was made in Melbourne. There's the dome of the State Library!  There's Jack Thompson as the grumbling caretaker! There's Garry McDonald knocking someone's teeth out with a chisel!

Otherwise, there is little to appreciate here beyond a few mechanical scares.  Pearce is dull and Holmes is grating, though Madison – who appears in almost every scene – proves as impressive here as she did annoying Adam Sandler with her fake British accent in Just Go With It.  Hopefully she'll get to appear in something decent before she grows up.